I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
