Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
