I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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