you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
