yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
soo... how was my night?
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