I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize