Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
