You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
