we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
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All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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