I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
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