Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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