I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
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Do I have a choice?
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I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
