My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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