Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
