New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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