thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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