If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
