pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
