is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
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On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
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i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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