Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
