You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
