I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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