she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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