We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
