I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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