I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
