Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
