What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
