And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
