you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
