he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
