8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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