so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is Oprah even human
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
