Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
