Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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