Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
the raccoons are back...
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