i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
