New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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