Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
