The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
