So drunk its hurt
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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