I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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