like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
