I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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