Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
