what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
