This is not my ceiling
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
