Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Randomize
