She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
