Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize