i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
