Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
