Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
