It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
