It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
