i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
