The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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