I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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