can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
