It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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