New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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