Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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