Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
