Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
