Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
that's an acceptable place to lick
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
